Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
