I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
