Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
