He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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