Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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