They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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