I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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