so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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