Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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