the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
