I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
