Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize