Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
