She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
