I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize