Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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