I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
