I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
