First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
