i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
