I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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