I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
