OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
