Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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