so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
