What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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