Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
