i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
