We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I need water and some morals
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
