If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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