We should be called the Road Head Warriors
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He passed out mid-signature
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
