well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
