My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
