Sponge bath it is.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
