Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
