If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
