How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize