I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
