toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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