check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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