They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
