saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
