Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
