You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
