Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
