i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize