whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
