you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
