Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
