Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
