I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
