Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So much rum. So many feels.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
