She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
