ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
