Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
