Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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