did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
