Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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