how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
