did you get engaged???
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Fuck appropriateness.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
