Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
