Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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