We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
