Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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