Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
