Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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