All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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