Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
