I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
