She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You ruined the universe
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
