This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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