I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize