Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
