ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize