I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
